Particle physics art

Failure is just a performance art – Whitman Wire


Illustration by Eli Rodriguez.

Students across campus began to call their midterm failure “performance art”. As a great connoisseur of the absurd and the abstract (see my grade 10 short commenting on Neo-Dadaism), I find this new school-wide movement very exciting. Without further ado, here are three of my favorite performances in this campus-inspired movement.

Alfred P: Mid-point geo at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. Arrived 20 minutes late without preparing for the test as they spent the last week watching all of JK Simmons’ filmography. Failing the exam with a 55% rate illustrates the difficult but stable relationship between the nature of storytelling that prevails both in JK Simmons’ illustrious career and in geology.

Lena J: Physics at mid-term at 11am Thursday, forgot all the material when giving the test. The only thing they remember was Bette Midler’s 2017 Tony acceptance speech, and wrote it instead. Without 2%, it is critical of how our knowledge is tested, what sticks and what resurfaces. This illustrates how performance builds on each other. Lena was inspired by Midler, without Midler’s contribution to the canon this performance would not have been possible, but Lena’s work was always original and a product of their being, that is, inspiration is not synonymous with lack of originality.

Tyson T: French halfway through 8am on Monday, never spoke or heard French before except when they watched the movie Amelie every day for a month at the age of 12. With a 23% drop, this illustrates how the media pre-pubescent consume has a profound impact on the way personalities are structured and learning interests. Tyson unknowingly took up French because of Amelie, and although he never went to class because it was 8 a.m. and Tyson had never gone to bed before 6 a.m., it was an effort directly motivated by this movie, to learn the language and culture of France.

So stop stressing about that mid-point calculation and show some commitment to the craft. This is your chance to finally prove that you are the great artist that you are; no one can understand you, but everyone will respect you.


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